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Bears aren’t real

I’ve just come back from 6 months in the woods. I ate nothing but forged food I caught with a survival knife. For reference I’m in Northern California, in the foothills.

During my time living amongst the beautiful nature and wildlife of these majestic woodlands I discovered one undeniable fact; there is no such thing as a bear and there never was.

Now let me be really clear: I’m talking specifically about people who make money on stocks going down. They’re not living in the woods y’all. They don’t have bloody twig diarrhea or facial scarring from eating raw honey. They didn’t have to scratch their backs on a log to dislodge ticks or eat raw salmon when they couldn’t get a fire going. Hell my phone was turned off the whole time cuz there’s nowhere to charge it! How is someone out here going to make any money this way, let alone shaving or wearing clothes. At one point I even had to break into some camper’s cooler and steal food. I’m not ashamed to admit I visited that campground a few times and there was a dumpster there I relied on during the harsher months.

I did it for you guys, now I’m back on Robin Hood, secure in the knowledge that nobody is secretly betting against me in the woods. At least nobody that I noticed.

What do you think?

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21 Comments

  1. Umm there is no Foothills in Northern California.

    I graduated from Humboldt State that is the real northern California. You know where the redwoods are.

    You can walk 10 minutes out of the Foothills and go get a burger at Denny’s

  2. Tell that to the bear that blocked me from getting into my house so he could try and get my trash can open yesterday. I had to go allllll the way around my neighbors backyard to get to my front door.

  3. I read Northern California as North Carolina and starting thinking up an awesome Hoosier joke. Than I realized all my work had been in vain. God dammit. I’m headed to the woods to bet against you.

  4. Wsb has gone from a place where people can formulate hypothesis about stocks and valuations. Now its this frankly retarded sideshow overvaluating 2 stocks and debasing the core value of this subreddit which is to make eachother better rather than this whole planet of the apes narrative! I dont buy it, it lacks due diligence and i dont buy it! Im orry if that breaks some of your guys hearts but face reality! If motel 6 said we want $20000 for a nights rest at thier motel what would you say? To hell with that!!!!! This is america and what do we value,? We value, value! Why on earth would i spend more than its worth, this is more like a hostage situation than investing! I cant buy your stock because its overvaluated! Well guess what?! Im sorry you made a bad investment!!!!

Cryptocurrency for a Beautiful Planet | by Amy Slawson | The Celo Blog

Yet another reason to switch to the SafeMoon Wallet