I’ve just come back from 6 months in the woods. I ate nothing but forged food I caught with a survival knife. For reference I’m in Northern California, in the foothills.
During my time living amongst the beautiful nature and wildlife of these majestic woodlands I discovered one undeniable fact; there is no such thing as a bear and there never was.
Now let me be really clear: I’m talking specifically about people who make money on stocks going down. They’re not living in the woods y’all. They don’t have bloody twig diarrhea or facial scarring from eating raw honey. They didn’t have to scratch their backs on a log to dislodge ticks or eat raw salmon when they couldn’t get a fire going. Hell my phone was turned off the whole time cuz there’s nowhere to charge it! How is someone out here going to make any money this way, let alone shaving or wearing clothes. At one point I even had to break into some camper’s cooler and steal food. I’m not ashamed to admit I visited that campground a few times and there was a dumpster there I relied on during the harsher months.
I did it for you guys, now I’m back on Robin Hood, secure in the knowledge that nobody is secretly betting against me in the woods. At least nobody that I noticed.